She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize