Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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