the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
