okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize