What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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