i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
