i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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