i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im six kinds of drunk right now
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
