they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize