Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Your penis caused this!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
