Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
