Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
