OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
This house was built for laser tag.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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