So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize