I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
