I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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