I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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