Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize