Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize