i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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