Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
