I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
