He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
