I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
