My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
