Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Its about making memories worth repressing
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
