Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
