Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
