You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
