How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
