Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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