ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
