so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
