I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize