You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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