so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
