I have demons in me.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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