i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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