i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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