better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
