I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Enjoy the penises
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize