Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
