he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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