Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
