PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
