I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
These tits shall not be calmed
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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