my soul wont recognize me after tonight
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
