What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
