i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think people are normalizing furries
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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