Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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