he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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