Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
