also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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