Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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