ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
