If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
