I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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