so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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