your thong is hanging out like whoa
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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