Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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