Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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