Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he fucked my hip out of place.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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