why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think your dad took our porno
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
