Whatcha textin bout Willis?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
