Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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