Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
