What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
