He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
