You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
if i can run in heels then i can drive
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
