I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I party with great urgency now.
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