is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
