Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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