Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
