dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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