Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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