did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
