he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
