Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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