In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
