Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
