dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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