He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize